Once upon a time, there was a wolf and a deer, and they were in love. They ran through the forest together without heed for the outside world. The wolf preyed and the deer was prey. They revelled in the hunt, for it was all they were and knew. Because they only had thoughts for each other, they were not wise to the ways of the outside world.

One day they came to the cottage of an evil witch who lived in the woods. This witch coveted the deer, who was beautiful and sweet and graceful and who could be tamed. She did not like the wolf, who was bloodied and irksome and untameable.

You will be my dear, the witch said to the deer.

She is already my deer, said the wolf.

The wicked witch thought wicked thoughts, and after many wicked thoughts, she went into her smithy and started to craft. But the wolf and the deer did not know this, and continued to play and to prey. They preyed on hearts as well as flesh, and left weeping heartbroken behind. And the wicked witch schemed and crafted.

This place is not right for you, she told the untameable wolf. It is right for her only.

This place is not right for her, she told the tameable deer. It is right for you only.

Soon, the thoughts began to form in the lovers' minds that the wolf should return to the forest, whilst the deer should stay with the witch.

Once you go, the wicked witch warned, you cannot come back. You must leave her forever so that you are both your true selves.

And so the wolf and deer hunted and loved, and the witch crafted in her smithy.

But the time neared for the lovers to part ways. The wicked witch stayed up all night in her smithy to finish her craftwork.

Goodbye my hart, cried the wolf, I love you.

Goodbye my heart, cried the deer, I love you.

And the untameable wolf left the tameable deer. The heartbroken deer returned to the witch's cottage, weeping.

And the wicked witch smiled, and went into her smithy to fetch the bridle.

5) The Matron of the Tangled Web.

A name to send shivers up your spine as well as spiders! What a pleasure it was to find some truly strange beings from the weirder parts of Nequam at the Underlings Union. The Matron, accompanied by her fellow the Maiden, was an interesting sight early on which we became surprisingly fond of. After appearing at events as diverse as a strike, a pet show, and a dinner party, regular attendees were disappointed to realise that the Matron no longer appeared or seemed to be a member, although the Maiden continues, of course, and perhaps someone particularly gossipy might pluck up the courage to ask her…! Whatever the situation, the Matron's fashion statement and the rising interest in alternative wedding ceremonies (including, of course, the wedding ceremonies which have become traditional to hold via motion at the Underlings Union meetings themselves!) has lead to increased popularity of pitch black wedding veils. Counter to tradition: we love it!