Table of Contents
Turn 2 News
Underlings Union Gains Support
Following the recent founding of the Underlings Union, a number of other Unions around Nequam have offered up support to the budding group. This has mostly come in support of financial aid.
“It has been made very clear to us the benefit of supporting this new Underlings Union” said a representative from the Reporters union.
Glassworkers Protest Gone Awry
“In the news tonight, an outbreak of poisonings have occurred on the opening night of the Glassworkers strikes. Witnesses state a magical element seems to be involved in their conditions and several strikers remain in urgent condition. Suspicions are being raised that a mystery cult has been hired to disrupt the strikes on behalf on Abizyl Glass. CEO Jeffrey Davies has this to say.”
“These allegations of sabotage of our workers are meritless. Abizyl Glass prides itself on treating workers like family, and the core competency of our staff is something we wholeheartedly believe in. We are hoping to be able to move the needle on this strike as soon as possible so sabotaging our workers would be disruptive to this aim. We abhor and condemn any suggestion we would act out of conduct with the companies core values in such a way”
Big Screen Debut
Fans of action-packed entertainment in Epicentre were not left wanting this week as a rare display of out of state Villainy was presented on the big screens of centre stage stadium. Presented by the biggest fan of 'Her Infernal Majesty Arkh'azia' was a adrenaline-pumping introduction to the violence and romance native to the Tenebrific Mountains. People have been screaming for more ever since! T-shirts for Queen Alyx and her Majesty Arkh'azia are already sold out!
Double Dragon Dilemma
Following the attacks of the dragon Razeraith on Central, a second, so far unidentified, golden dragon appears to have allied themself with Razeraith and the pair carved a swathe of destruction through the city, in what experts are calling “the most detailed example of the draconic allegiance flight ritual ever seen”. The current location of either dragon is unknown, as they flew off into the wilderness after the display.
Residents of the Quiverwoods seem happier
Missives from the Quiverwoods indicate a stabilisation of the mysterious plague or decay that has recently been penetrating the forests and marshes. Returning travellers bring stories to Epicentre of people sinking into the loam; businesspeople finishing trips from Central report an uptick in the productivity of the forestral sector. The Quiverwoods residents don't seem entirely pleased, though. Fears of poor soil quality, withering flora, and sinkholes seem unassuaged, as do general rumours of a certain… wriggliness. Mind you, the denizens of the Quiverwoods generally seem gloomy. Perhaps back to the status quo is all that can be hoped for.
Map Theft Gossip
Dr. Evelyn Evil’s underling Violet has been seen stealing a mysterious map. Many people are now wondering and dreading what purpose the evil scientist may have for it. Some speculate it may be as boring as blackmail or trade but we here at ScandalStreet believe something more saucy may be at hand. Dr Evils known status as an up and coming villain and confirmed bachelorette we believe is coming to an end, as this obvious display towards the Archivist can only mean one thing, she sure got his attention. If you have any theories on why Dr Evil had her underling take this mystery map, please write to us at the address below!
Queen Alyx, Ruler of the Damned, the latest hottest topic
Nequam is abuzz with news about this powerful yet still rising Villain. Magazines in Epicentre carry her photo, along with headlines and exclamation marks about her cool stage appearance, dashing fashion sense, and tantalising will-they-won't-they speculation regarding Queen Arkh'azia. Meanwhile, rumours emerge that Queen Alyx herself has mellowed. Her denizens, and new subjects of her recently conquered lands, report that she is somewhat more merciful and diplomatic than previously. At least, her Underlings are. There's a sense of bemusement and puzzlement that Queen Alyx is using diplomacy rather than overwhelming warrior force…
SCOOP! Epicentre's Juciest Gossip Magazine
Today's SCOOP! comes from the new Underlings Union, described by SCOOP!'s sources as “a brave attempt”, “wildly optimistic” and “stop pestering me you insignificant wretch”. Our intrepid reporter went along to their latest meeting to bring you this exclusive report on the attendees.
Lord High Priest Bob exalts cabbages
For those that enjoy the cult-y vibe, we've got the latest trends out of Abyzl! The Lord High Priest of the Faceless Eater, in an exclusive interview, reports that cabbage farms are the new hotness, with cabbage and worms being the newest export of Abyzl's eclectic cuisine. He was kind enough to offer one of his worms to Centrepage's reporter - and what a juicy worm it was! He declares that his god has no need of better farms! Although given the High Priest's complaints about mould problems and the reported cabbage crop failure, perhaps his god has need of a better cabbage farmer…
Dr Evilyn Evil has no need of DEFCONX!
A purple-haired, smiling Underling has declared that Dr Evil's base is so good that the darstardly doctor denies any desire for the diverse devices displayed at DEFCONX (see our full con report on page 12!). We can only speculate what defences Dr Evil might have which outpace the state of the art available at the biggest BaseTech convention of the year - and so we will speculate for your entertainment! Maybe it's lasers that turn intruders inside-out without warning, maybe sonic beams which leave any would-be thief with a permanent ringing in their ears, meaning they can't hear the highly trained nuclear attack dogs coming for them, maybe [this continues for several pages]
Eudocia, Underling to Princess Porthitís, has issues!
Many of us have heard of Eudocia as the fierce warrior at the fore of Princess Porthitis' armies (see our report on Porthitia's latest conquests on page 4), but at the Union meeting a reputable source in a black gown questioned Eudocia's reliability, saying she was prone to “running off” and indulged in flights of fancy with an “imaginary friend”. When approached for comment, Eudocia asked for a private conversation with our intrepid reporter - but this request was swiftly refused by her android companion (a blue and white robot with gorgeous heels - see page 5 for how to Steal That Look). SCOOP! Will be following this growing rivalry with interest.