A wave of missing villains and their underlings has hit Nequam this week with no apparent motive and no villain coming forward to claim their deaths. Included are Vitiate the Desecrater of North Abizyl, The Smith of Abizyl Bay, and The Laboritrician of the Quiverwoods. In all cases no survivors have yet been found. Investigation of these villains lairs has revealed an unusually high number of worms and several dozen skeletons missing their skulls.

Latest news from Epicenter reports that the villain, Mr. Murder, was killed and replaced by one of his underlings after refusing to negotiate with the Underlings Union. This killing was not supported by the leadership team of the union and they emphasize that they were ready to enter mediation with the old Mr. Murder, but he refused to do so. They hope more villains will be ready and open to negotiation with the Union, in order to prevent such unrest from their underlings.

A spaceship has landed in the Abizyl Bay. Witnesses state a dolphin and a group of humans including several of the missing sailors were seen exiting upon its landing. One of the sailors claims all their fellow sailors who are still missing are dead. Based on the large amount of destroyed ships surrounding the space vessel that were confirmed to be the missing ships, Abizyl has official called off the search. Who is this group of hero's who saved these sailors?

Hello and welcome to the EBN 4 o’clock news, brought to you by me, Amani Senai. Todays' headline: Salvatore no more! Yes, Epicentre’s favourite newshost and media mogul Arella Salvatore has gone missing under mysterious circumstances this morning. The question is, who stands to benefit? And why now? And- Hey! Who turned off the studio lights?

Hello and welcome to the EBN 4 o’clock news, brought to you by me, Princess Violet! The main thing to know today is that Arella Salavtore, who used to be the boss here has not been seen for several weeks now. If you ask me I think one of the other news broadcasters killed her. Probably SCOOP! They seem the type. I’ll be happy to discuss all the suspects in my talk show that starts tomorrow night at 8pm. See you then!

The infamous dragon Villain, who left its caves in the Tenebrific Mountains after a joint offensive of many Underlings and subsequently wreaked havoc amongst the skyscrapers of Central, has now been sighted again along the beach of the bay of Abizyl. Locals are slowly but steadily backing away and moving fishing boats away from that area, which is forcing many to choose between this location and the locations of reports of missing boats.

Following a motion to re-elect the Underlings Union committee, several campaigns have gathered steam recently. There have been a mix of advertising, speeches, wild promises, and sensible manifestos by candidates. The positions up for election are President, Treasurer, and Secretary, although note that the current committee has four members (joint Treasurers Addison Anchovy and Rat). Therefore many hopefuls are jostling for joint positions and a committee size of, in the highest proposed case, fifteen. Given the size of the Union and skills of the Underlings, campaigns have been passionate and varied. Strength of feeling has been so strong that physical altercations have occurred. The most notable example is a group of goblins apparently roaming through Epicentre. An interview from a local hospital confirms they have been involved in treating campaign-related injuries, such as broken kneecaps.

The forerunners, and bookies' favourites, of the campaign are new Union member Mizzinx Magubbins and current president Princess Violet. Note that Princess Violet runs on a slate of most of the incumbent committee and campaigns on their behalf with both traditional methods and free baked goods. This strategy has proved very popular with crowds in many places and a prominent journalist is writing about her. Strong opposition includes, for Treasurer, mathematical ritualist Chief Cosine Fermat from an Abizyl joint cult/college, and for President, the renowned blood-magic wizard Unisinu. Mizzinx Magubbins has the punchiest manifesto promises of “Teeth, Whales, Dental, magic stones, beef and warcrimes”, and her goblin-supported campaign has gathered widespread support in the Tenebrific Mountains.

Campaigners have brought their colourful and obnoxious public campaigning to Harmony too, as the fortnightly meeting approaches. People ask: Is a fortnight long enough to get the campaign messages out there? Does the diversity of the Union members mean that no committee is able to represent everyone? Will the motion be sabotaged, as previously another motion is rumoured to have been? Is this going to be really, really boring? And can I have one of those cupcakes, they are so sparkly?

Ahead of the Underlings Union, a proposed draft of “Rules of the Underlings Union” is circulated. The union will be asked to vote on whether to officially adopt these rules as part of the motions at the next union meeting.

Rules of the Underlings Union

There is a noted lack of stories of sword-wielding armies, magical devastation, and skeletal hordes. What are the Villains doing? Are they enjoying a period of relaxation and recuperating for renewed offensives? Are they researching new magic, such as Queen Alyx's skeletal 'maintenance' and Oseneth the Inexorable's destructive spells? Public opinion is that this is likely a temporary breather rather than a long-term ceasefire. However, there is no word of any reappearance of Underlings or subjects of Anathema.

Building excitement in weddings has now spread across much of Nequam. Two months ago, an uptick in charitable distribution of free wedding magazines, to forlorn and hopeful financées, led shopkeepers to order excess magazines and more heavily promote them. Similarly, stories of tearful young women unable to purchase their own romantic literature led printers to produce a flurry of new publications. In Harmony, word is brought away following discussion and overheard conversations at the Underlings Union. Many Union members are hoping that the Union will start to perform a joint function as meeting for Underling employment rights and a wedding venue. There are whispers brought back to cults in Abizyl that registrars and officiants might soon be in vogue at the UU meetings, which has made veteran ritual leaders hopeful of a role at the meetings. Spend is on the increase, although many heartbroken (and now destitute) families of the Quiverwoods report falling victims to scams. More balanced sources have the failed series of marriages as due to bad luck and couples making rushed decisions, as the weddings had little in common with each other: floral glade gatherings, banquets in ruined castles, and village barn dance weddings have all alternately left guests screaming and stampeding, or one of the financé/es in tears.