Violet, the president of the Underlings Union, has been reported missing. She was last seen after a conflict occurred between some of Dr. Evil's minions and some goblins, near Dr. Evil's base of opperations. Union member and notable rival of Violet, Mizzinx Maggubins, was seen in the area, alongside Willow Wormwood. Mizzinx had recently been defeated by Violet in the campaign to become head of the Union.

Neither Mizzinx nor Violet have been seen since this conflict.

Following a string of highly publicised disasters, culminating in a pitched battle around their headquarters, Argon Technologies have declared bankruptcy. The fate of their assets, including the currently leased SANA units and the production factories, is currently uncertain.

A dragon that had taken up residence around North Abizyl has been killed this week in an attack on the base of the Alum Watchers. Witnesses say a group of strangers appeared to kill the dragon before leaving. Seven died in the attack including one of the mystery saviours… A skeletal warrior seemingly originating from the Tenebrific Mountains, who eyewitnessed speculate is the great General IDES themself! Though there are widespread reservations, as surely such an Underling would not fall so ignominiously.

Following the dissapearance this week of CEO Jeffrey Davies, Abizyl Glass has announced their new CEO to be Miss Rosie Lloyd. Union head Frederick Malady has this to say: “While we have never counted Miss Lloyd as one of our members we believe she will represent a new age of responsible practice from management down for Abizyl Glass. I look forward to meeting her.”

Hello and welcome to the EBN 4 o’clock news, brought to you by me, Amani Senai. Todays' headline: Carnage in the streets of Epicentre unfolds as Spotlight initiates an unprecedented rampage across the streets of Epicentre. Spotlight claims his outrage is caused by the theft of an important item from his private tower. Who could have dared to pull of such a thing. Well despite what my colleague Jackson claims. I can reveal that the true culprit is-

Hey! Who turned off the lights?

Please Stand by. Technical Difficulties

A new Epistreamer star, iambug, has soared to the top of the ratings charts on Epistreamer, Nequam's most popular streaming platformer. Fans have been drawn to the unusual streaming style, with the stream mostly featuring the streamer ambling around, looking at the world. Their first stream included highlights such as getting stuck up a tree, stealing a drink, and accidentally uncovering the location of Professor Nefaria's secret underground base.

The streaming schedule is rather erratic, and the identity of the streamer remains unknown, with only the occasionaly shot of the host's feet ever being visible. The mystery surrounding this new channel has given rise to a lot of speculation over where this channel has come from, and who the mysterious invididual behind the camera really is. The popularity of the eccentric streams is undeniable, and has lead to the rise of several copycat streamings attempting to replicate the style, but whatever the magic is, only the original channel has managed to capture it.

A naming ceremony to announce Princess Violet as the next ruler of the Silvered Land went awry last week as a guest was found dead. Korban, envoy of Flagthorne was reportedly found in the gardens missing his heart.

A party will be thrown in celebration of the successess of the Underlings Union. The event is open to all, with food and drink being provided. Members of the committee are invited to give a speech.

Oseneth the Inexorable is reported dead, their territories undefended. Apparently they died as their huge tower disintegrated, maybe crushed, who knows. Either that or they are missing, but given the nature of High Fantasy Villains, especially the ones whose magical effects can be far-reaching, they don't tend to simply go off-radar whilst their territory crumbles. Evil hordes, rising magicians, and other Villains are rushing in, plus former possessions and supplies are being contested by the local populace. In particular, the caverns and local foothill lands formerly belonging to Razeraith have been repossessed, with a mixed air of relief and familiarity and terror as the fiery-tempered and fiery-throated great reptile returns. The eventual upshot, political difficulties, and bloodbaths over the remains of Oseneth's territories are yet to be known.

“Hey mate did you catch the latest episode of Reina Del Mar?”
“Of course I did! Wouldn't miss it for the world.”
“Get this, I heard from a friend that Gabriella is going to murder Sebastian in the Season finale!”
“No way! Why?”
“Because of his love affair scandal with Isabella's cousin of course! The hints are all there if you look for them.”
“What hints?”
“Are you blind? Did you not see the way the parrotfish stared at the EBN coffee mug as Isabella was mentioning him?”
“Woah! That's huge! I'm gonna tell everyone about this”

Bug did a good job. You should tell Bug xe did a good job.

This is a roleplaying effect - your character is aware that this is not entirely their own thoughts, and you're welcome to play into this or not as much as you want.

Mutterings are widespread that the Underlings Union committee does not well represent all members. It has been noted that both this and the last committee represent the more tech-savvy areas of Nequam, with committee members more interested in abstract numbers and tangled, wordy documents - have you seen the Constitution? - than proper instructive illuminated manuscripts and magical guidance, down-to-earth everyday interests, and issues that matter to coastal communities along the Abizyl Bay. Plus, do they understand the interests of those Underlings who are more involved in large High Fantasy armies, where Underling duty takes place on a grand scale with proper talented physicality, or do they only work within the shady and inscrutable politicking of Epicentre and Central? Rallies, demonstrations and speeches (all peaceful, and many involving goblins) have pointed out the committee's negligence of these vital Underling concerns.

To whit: magic stones, beef, whales, dental, teeth, and warcrimes.

In addition to rising feelings that the committee does not represent many of the members, word has spread that the purported safehouses of the Union are not as safe as members have led to believe. One safehouse has been abandoned by its residents and visitors due to a break-in resulting in a death. Details are leaked despite the usual secrecy, due to fearful rumours. If one was compromised, what about the others? What about this money that was spent on facilities for Underlings Union members? Have our Treasurers really bothered to choose proper locations? The committee has not released a statement. Where is our money really going - is it being spent on expensive androids AGAIN?!

The largest vampire clan of the Quiverwoods has become popular in the last week or so following a series of high-profile social events in the dell'Æmoglobina castle, with widespread satisfaction reported and less angsty behaviour from Countess Estella dell'Æmoglobina. Exactly what has happened is rumoured but not really known, except that demands for werewolf hunts - not hunts by werewolves, hunts for werewolves - have been replaced by subtle hints that she is iritated by a recent reduction in the number of her Underlings. However, returning travellers report feeling that their necks are safer.