In honour of our founder Addison Anchovy, who introduced so many youngsters of cults to the world of accountancy; without whose dedication and energy, many accountants would never have had the interest or the credentials to seek further qualification; who did so much to negate the need for summoning divine splinters of the God of Accountancy; and whose YA books really did deserve more acclaim.
–Plaque on the wall of the AAnchAc youth organisation building in Abizyl
It was truly a joyous day as the nuptials of Addison Anchovy and Rat (no known last name, job, or even cool epithet) got underway on Epicentre's Centrestage, Epicentre's Centrepage is pleased to report. The EBN accountant-visionary has been somehow able to take time away from the current incredibly popular YatterTV reboot/business venture talkshow, ChatterTV. Addison and the other person tied the knot to rapturous applause and the eerie hoots of various underwater creatures from the extended Anchovy cult. Then the newlyweds, who got their start in the Underlings Union, invited a smaller circle of close friends, many from said Union, for a reception on the beach. Nautical decorations galore, with a varied guest list including robots and non-human beings, and drinks to suit all biologies. Of course, the best of EBN's photographers were on hand alongside SCOOP! What a happy ending to the story of the two's time as joint Treasurers at the Underlings Union. SCOOP! is simply astonished by the quantity of nautical puns in the bride's speech - true oratory skills, as we saw develop during the Union meetings and at the unfortunate Pet Championship incident. We heard gossip and rumour as guests asked whether their romantic relationship developed during their time as Treasurers, whether it affected the UU accounts, and whether there are any more UU weddings in the works… Though the question on our lips is: why is that veil shimmery sea-blue instead of the current trend, pure black?
Addison: Yes, you have found one of the greatest accountants ever. Were I to list all my achievements, we should be in great want of sustenance by the end. *canned laughter* Although there is one thing that does haunt me, and is heavier a burden than even that of prestige. *a sigh* I am followed by the shame of what happened to the Union's finances. I learned a bitter lesson that day…
“CUT!”
…
“Yes?”
“That's not on the script!”
“Yes it is. We're about to go into the retrospective about the broken trust part, causing Addison to become reflective…“
“No! Who put that in there? Let me see. Junior co-writer… BOB!”
“Sir! Our brief was that this was based on real-life events, and surely as Co-Treasurer, Addison would have been shaken by the piracy–“
“Have you ever MET Addison Anchovy, Bob?”
…
“Addison may have many talents, Bob, and he's still working as a primary school accountancy teacher somewhere in Abizyl, and if you ever meet him then you can ask how he feels about the Union heist, but when we're doing reality TV, we don't show real-life. This is a gritty and rousing biography, and we don't change the nature of the Addison-approved draft. You got to co-write the climax of Episode 65, where Addison rescues a bus full of people from the Yattermain.”
“Yes, I just thought that a bit more depth to the character –“
“Don't you ever want to make it beyond junior co-writer?”
“Yeah. Sure.”
“Cut that part out, give them the script back, ready to go in five, and get it right this time, special guest Martha Mulberry arrives this afternoon!”
An elderly lady dressed in a smart black dress, with a pinny and brooches and glasses with a chain, watches a ceremony down on the beach. The small people move about sombrely. She sniffles into a handkerchief with “MM” embroidered letters. “I knew I'd be in floods, popsicle.”
The shape beside her gives a sympathetic whine.
“Oh, exactly. A rocky start, but aren't the best of friendships riddled with their ups and downs? Oh, this brings it all back. The baking party. The blindfolded teas. The ride in the portal bag alongside my finest china. What a gent, though.”
The other creature snorts gently.
“A gent, pupper! Look at all the good they did later on, after all the nasty business near us. Those shows that made millions laugh, then think. The subtle influencing of popular taste for heroics and villainry. The funny interviews. They'll be saying down there: They were smart, they were a visionary, they were accomplished… but you know what they were, really?”
A curious growl. The lady looks down and sighs. “A sweetheart.”